Okay, so for ages, I was totally sucked into that whole Instagram/social media vortex of the “perfect” body. You know the one – all sculpted abs and flawless everything? Yeah, I was chasing that for way too long. I’ve been a bit on the cuddly side since I was a kid, and while I didn’t exactly hate it, it wasn’t my favorite. More like I just didn’t really think about it much.
High school was seriously the best! Made my besties for life back then, and get this – I will see them in Japan this summer too! (Stay tuned for that blog post!) Anyway, back then, body image wasn’t really on our radar; it was all about good times and hanging out. College was when things started to change a bit. That one summer I spent in Japan, I dropped a bunch of weight just from walking everywhere. Seriously, miles between train stations to see friends, wandering around shops for kicks. It wasn’t even “working out,” just exploring! People definitely noticed, especially my family, who were all “whoa!” I could see it too, and hey, feeling good about how you look is always a plus, right? That was probably when I first started thinking about having a “good-looking” body.
After college, I was doing marketing for this Japanese restaurant chain, and get this – part of my job was literally to eat! Surprise, surprise, a few pounds snuck back on, but I wasn’t too bothered. Then I got a new job, and that’s where I met my amazing husband. He has never judged my shape or anything, just loved me for who I am. Total sweetheart. So, we got married, had two awesome (and busy!) boys. Pregnancy hit me hard with morning sickness both times. For months, I was just a permanent fixture on the couch or the bathroom floor. And once that awfulness finally passed, it was like I could finally breathe again! – bring on all the food! And let’s be real, all that pregnancy eating meant the weight piled on, and it didn’t magically disappear after the boys arrived.
Then one day, I saw this family photo with my two little tornadoes, and I realized I was trying to strategically hide my arms and middle with them. It just made me feel… kind of down.. That was definitely my “I need to make a change” moment. So, I started walking, then running (slowly!), tried to eat a bit better, and after a few months, I actually hit my “dream” weight. I was so happy and proud! Honestly, I appreciate that whole journey now because it’s what got me into this whole fitness thing. I changed myself and felt so much better, mentally and physically, that I wanted to help other people feel that way too. Great story, right?
But wait, there’s more! Once I lost the weight and felt good, I got super paranoid about going back to the old me. As soon as a few pounds crept back on, I was all dramatic and disappointed in myself. I started chasing this super toned look – you know, sculpted legs, back, six-pack – and I was never happy. You may want to read my another blog: How I stopped being obsessed with getting “visible six-pack abs”
Let me tell you about this one influencer I was totally obsessed with. She was a fitness influencer who did those bikini competitions every year. Come spring, she’d start hardcore dieting and working out tons to get super ripped for summer. I was so impressed and thought, “I want that!” I was aiming for her competition body, even though I wasn’t competing with anyone! Then summer would end, she’d go back to eating normally, gain some healthy weight back, and still look great. But in my head, she always looked “better” in her summer competition shape.
Then she revealed her body fat percentage when she was in that competition shape: 7%! Dude, 7% for a woman can be seriously dangerous! That’s when it hit me – I was chasing a physique that was literally unhealthy! I suddenly understood why she’d gain weight back after competing; it was for her own good. It is actually very scary to realize that the “perfectly toned” image we see so much might be leaning towards these extreme athlete bodies.
That was my big “aha!” moment. I was like, “Wait a minute! I want to be healthy!” I want to have fun, enjoy life with my family, eat good and tasty food, and most importantly, be happy and healthy in my head and body. So yeah, sometimes my thoughts on this stuff are all over the place, but I always try to remember that I want to be strong inside and out, and I want a healthy life for me and my crew.
Basically, I’m learning that the “perfect” picture on my phone isn’t the real goal. Feeling good, being strong, and enjoying life? That’s the real win.
I used to be so focused on that “perfect body” ideal, but now I really cherish my body, take care of it, through all the ups and downs. Because the truth is, everyone changes as time goes on – it’s a universal thing! So don’t be afraid of those changes; instead, embrace your body and who you are. That’s what naturally leads to your own well-being for yourself and your loved ones. There’s so much more to it, but the main thing I wanted to share is how I shifted from chasing to cherishing, and that’s a path I’m still walking.
